What Makes Me Me

Hi!

I think being sensitive is a very important part of who you are. Some people don’t care if you’re sensitive and just don’t remember that you have feelings. Since I was a baby, people have done that to me. When people do that to me, sometimes I feel bad that I’m sensitive, but now I know that being sensitive is good. Being sensitive makes you you. It also shows your feelings. When you show your feelings, other people will see you have feelings. Has that happened to you? It is part of showing who you are. In my life, I have shown who I am by being sensitive.

Another thing that has been hard for me is being different. Being different can make you feel like you have to be like other people. When I feel different, I feel that way. But something tells me that being different is good. This is why. Just like being sensitive, it makes you you. When another person is feeling different, and, not fitting in, just remind that person that they don’t have to be like other people.

My third thing that has been hard in my life is…being yelled at. When I am yelled at, sometimes I say…I’m stupid. I know that sounds a bit crazy. When I’m yelled at, I feel so bad. I feel so bad, that I stomp right into my room. When I was small, for example, once I hurt my little brother’s feelings. My mom said, “Ella, I think you hurt your little brothers feelings.” At that time, I felt so bad. But why did I feel that bad? Because when I do something I feel like I’ve done when I was 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7. Then, I start to say I’m stupid over and over again. Crazy. Right? Yes. Sometimes I forget about everyone and stomp around in public just because I feel bad about something. When I feel bad, I feel like I’ve done something really bad. When I do something bad, I say I’m bad. You should not say that you are bad, just because you did something bad.

Another thing that has been tough in my life is being lonely. When I feel lonely, I feel like I don’t have friends even though I do. When I’m lonely, I also feel like no one cares about me. But most of the time I feel like it is my fault that I’m lonely. Then I feel bad that it was my fault that I was lonely. When it’s my fault I feel everybody else is better than me because they didn’t do something bad. But this is the good thing about feeling bad: when you feel bad you realize you’ve done something bad and you think it through and you apologize and then it’s over then you don’t have to think about it again. Once it’s over you don’t really think about it again because you’re doing new things and new stuff and the bad feeling goes away because you’re having fun.

I’ve learned a lot about how to stop these feelings. Once you learn about them you have the way to stop them when you get them again. Some ways to stop them are doing something fun, going somewhere that you like, being you, meditating, and spending time with your family.  When I’m lonely, I think about times when I have had fun. I think about every time I’ve had fun in my life and then I don’t feel lonely anymore. Eat, read, drink, or do something you like when you’re lonely, sad, or mad. When I’m lonely, sad or mad, I think about the things I like.

One more thing I want to talk about is…who I am. I am a girl who likes nature and spending time with my friends and family. I am very sensitive and different in emotional ways. I like to be quiet most of the time and I love reading and writing. I feel most myself when I do things I like and spend time with my friends and get to do special things. When I do something my true self would not do, for example stealing my brother’s toys, my family calls that not feeling like yourself. If you do something you normally don’t do then you are not being yourself. When you go out do you behave normally? I bet you do. I do too. But, I don’t always feel safe when I am not at home. I am very, very sensitive to being in public because I am shy and not able to do things that I normally do that make me happy.

Everybody has different feelings and you are you and you have the power to be confident in your feelings. If you ever feel these things I’ve been writing about, don’t worry because you can be you and feel the ways you feel.

Feel free to write back at kfleury@gmail.com.

—Ella Fleur